Ky_IsisnOnyxsMama

you guys are awesome

thanks sully i super appreciate it ..drayken too..you two really dug deep ..kudos for that\

omg did i just say kudos? omg i gotta call people i know theyll never believe it

mylittledeers

Now this one made me think ky.........
1st.. the advice my mom gave me when Kel and I married 21 years ago (she was married for 50 years so thought it was worth a mention )
NEVER go to bed mad at each other, you may have to stay up and argue things out but beats waking up mad and continuing the fight!!!!
2nd what Kel and I agreed on when we married..... NEVER fight over money, odds are that realistically most of us wont have enough to fight over, so no sense arguing over that

3rd Tolerance.... be tolerant of each other, neither is perfect. Laugh at your mistakes together and then move on.

I know you're looking for guy input so I'll try to get Kel on here.... but from my point of view:

Kel is the MOST stand up guy I've ever known. Means what he says and says what he means. My trust in him is absolute, I know that no matter what happens he's my "soft place to fall" Whispering all the sweet nothings in the world will never replace a man who's strong and true.

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Ky_IsisnOnyxsMama

>< oo girl that was beautiful and im SOOOO glad you wrote it !! thank you ! >< ><

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msdiamonddawg

These are the things I think that keep our relationship together:

TRUST, sense of humor. We laugh and "play" together - meaning softball, walking the dog, taking drives. We are friends. Respect each other. Aren't clingy or jealous. We don't need to call each other 100 times a day and yes, he's allowed to talk to other women! Respect for family. Have common interests but also have our own indenpendence. My guy cooks, cleans and does laundry, all by himself!! Actually haven't cooked more than a couple of meals in the 5 years we've been together! He would help out anyone in need. Hard worker. He's very hyper but I'm very laid back, so we compliment each other well! We have a lot in common, but we don't disrespect each other for our differences. I think you need to have common goals though ... for example, we both don't want kids. If one wanted and one didn't, it would be really hard.

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All of the things mentioned are very important. Trust is the big one and being able to listen. One thing that is extremely important to me is getting him to listen. And to understand what I am trying to say.

Helping around the house (men and women). We both have full time jobs so its important for us both to help out. He is home every other week so I expect his help then of course.

But one thing I didn't see (but I may have missed it) is Sacrifice. You have to be willing to sacrifice for each other. My husband is not a very social person and getting really uncomfortable around big groups. I have a HUGE family and he put his problems aside for me to have them over for a get together this summer. He did separate himself a lot and had to have time to himself, but I appreciated him doing that for me.

I have seen humor mentioned a lot.. that is one of the best things about our relationship. We like to have fun.. we just bought a wii

Ky_IsisnOnyxsMama

jeez i need to take you all with me to this thing..its the perfect example of how to make marriage work...the BASIC elements needed to have true success

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ><

kgb6days

For me, trust is the main issue - and not just in relation to other women. I KNOW that I can go to DH with whatever and he will not redicule me, share my secrets, belittle me, etc. I know my heart, my feelings, my needs are all safe with him. I also want to be respected, my feelings taken seriously, and to be an equal partner in this relationship. DH frequently reminds me "we're on the same team" if I start to get angry/defensive/argumentative. I sometimes forget that we need to not face each other and fight, but stand side by side and fight the battle together (does that make sense at all?)

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Kristy -
Allie & Maggie