danieman

Okay, Liam is our 7mo old boxer baby who I happen to be such a mom to. He's had so many issues and I'm just really protective. We recently decided to adopt a 10mo old boxer female (Emma) and I'm not sure how I feel.

I know we did a good thing adopting her but I'm having a really hard time not feeling bad about Liam being jealous and feeling like we betrayed him. Especially since we adopted her for Liam to have a buddy.

She's much more aggressive than Liam and torments him at times with his toys. She will take them away from him and growl and snip at him when he tries to play with her to get them back. Eventually Liam moves on to a new toy and she goes after that one too. He's very timid and scared around her and it's really breaking my heart. Also, when he tries to get close to me she'll go after him sometimes because she wants me all to herself.

Also, Liam is trained to do a lot more than she is. For instance the only commands she really responds to are sit and come (she won't always come on the first call). Do I separate them to try to work with her? They are very distracted around one another and Liam completes the command instantly and is looking for another treat. Does anyone have any recommendations for this?

What should I do? How long do I give it before I really sit down and decide whether or not we'll have to re-home her? I want to make it work and i'm willing to try my hardest but Liam gets along with everything that breathes and is the sweetest little cuddly thing and this is just making him so sad. How do I not show favoritism? Any tips/advice from any of you that have done this?

I know there is an adjustment period and we'll need to give it time but how long?




Dani

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-Dani-

Zeus050412

How long ago did you adopt Emma? I have a 5 year old lab at home and when we brought Zeus home , at first she was all about it.. playing and excited. Then she realized we were keeping him and kind of gave him a hard time. Now they are the best of buds.

I took both of them to separate training classes and worked with them individually. Gave them each quality time. My 5 year old is my heart and I have had her since I was 17 years old. I know sometimes she may feel a bit "left out", Zeus just requires a bit more attention.

I make sure to let her know she is just as loved. .

I am sure they will come around to one another, it is an adjustment for both of them.

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Dawna - Mommy to Zeus aka Monkey and Ciara aka Ci Ci

Gypsiemouse

I would do some obedience training with just Emma and maybe also NILIF (nothing in life is free). She is probably trying to find her place in a new home and it will take some time for them both to get accustomed to each other.

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Lynne- Owned by and Slave to Maggie and Mongo

danieman

Zeus050412 ... How long did it take them to get to be buds?


Dani

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-Dani-

marki.s70

You have expressed some pretty strong emotions over the situation and I couldn’t help but notice, none are positive.
I get the impression you are essentially feeling guilty that you made a decision for Liam that life is going to change. I remember going through that after my second pregnancy.
He is your pride and joy and you love him…we can all relate to that.
He has been fortunate to have you and in turn is well trained. Emma has not been so fortunate so only knowing a few command’s means she is in the right place. Found someone who has the ability to give her what she deserves. You will learn that it is possible to love more than one equally but different.
If Liam is the happy go lucky get along with anything that breathes boy you have described, relax…betrayal is a human emotion and pouting is not always for the reason’s we imagine. It could be that he want’s to play with her and she’s not ready or simply that boxer’s are notorious for picking up on your feeling’s and right now, your’s are closer to disappointment that joy.
Assuming you didn’t think another dog was just going to fill in play gaps and be a ‘toy‘, it takes time to adjust. Time for you to really get to know her, time to bond and develop trust. How long depend’s on you more than anything. All member’s of the family deserve to feel safe, loved and protected so imo, favoristism is one of those good intention’s that almost always back fire. With canine’s that give’s reason to fight.
Nothing you have described about the dog’s sound’s concerning to me. Advice is never going to be the same because our lives our not the same, what we do is not exactly the same and dog’s are not the same.
So my advice is whatever technique’s you use, understand what it is you are trying to accomplish, be fair and consistent, make sure that each member feel’s loved and secure and always‘s ensure that you are the only one who is deciding the rules.
There was a reason you felt it was a good idea that Liam have a buddy so try to remember that when you are doubting yourself. you can do this. Hang in there!

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Jill T.

I would give them separate training time. We've done this with all of our dogs. It builds their confidence & gives you time to bond one on one. Who knows what her situation was before she came to you. She simply may not know HOW to play with another dog, yet or just may not know how to feel about a puppy.... I think your new one will come around with time. We've had Belle (also a rescue) for almost a month, now & we are still working out the dynamics of adding a new puppy into the "mix" after 9 years.

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Jill,
Home of Epic Cocker Spaniels (& a boxer )

Zeus050412

I would say that my lab came around after about 2 weeks. She is not a mean girl at all. She is the biggest sweetheart! So I would say two weeks is when she got used to him and he wasnt irritating her as much.

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Dawna - Mommy to Zeus aka Monkey and Ciara aka Ci Ci

getgracie

How long they adjust largely depends on how you (their human) run the household.

Every dog has their own special personality, quirks, limitations and strengths just as we humans do. Anytime you add or subtract a new member in/out of the pack, it changes the dynamics. Expecting everyone to get along right away and meet what you've envisioned isn't fair to the pups and it will set you up for disappointments. Dogs are incredible communicators and will let each other know exactly what is expected of each other. Emma may correct Liam at times and it may sound harsh to us, but it's mostly noise. Hopefully in time, they will have an understanding between the two of them.

Be careful and keep your own emotions in check because as already stated, they pick up on your vibes. And I agree, train them separately to build individual bond with each, and walk them together as well to establish that they are a pack.

Do you know exactly what Emma's backstory is since she is a rescue? That will help figure out how you will coordinate everything from feeding, affection, sleeping..etc. This will help everyone settle in and reduce the stress levels in the home.

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Jansen, Gracie's Mommy
RIP SUGAR Bear, 06/0 9/2001 - 07/02/2011.
Meet you at the Bridge, my sweet girl.

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danieman

Emma comes from a nice family that had two kids and three boxers (her being one of them). She was most definitely well fed and happy, however, they just didn't have as much time for her and my husband and I clearly had for Liam.

I know I need to be patient and keep my emotions in check and I appreciate all of the comments/advice. Liam is my first dog outside of the family dogs I had growing up and Emma is my first solo adoption. I just never picked up on how hard it was to adjust when my parents adopted rescues.

I'm trying very hard to make Emma feel like she's part of the family. I took her outside and brushed her alone and practiced sitting on command but she's not very interested in the treats I have for Liam so I will have to try something else for her. Any recommendations?

Emma was very aggressive towards Liam today. It's hard for me not to worry...should I reprimand her if she "attacks?" Liam is much about 15-20lbs smaller than Emma and it most definitely shows. She's a big girl. I'm still feeling her out so I'm not sure if she's going to actually hurt him or just trying to establish dominance. I just don't want Liam to feel like he can't get pet by his parents because his ears go back and she blocks him from getting anywhere near us.

Is it possible that Liam will pick up on her bad habits? Emma will go to the dog trainer next week so I'm hoping that will help at least start getting things going.

I know there is a reason she's with us. It's just me, my husband, and now, our two fur babies so we have more time to give them the attention they need. I'm sincerely doing my best. I knew things wouldn't be perfect so I will be patient and try very hard to keep my emotions in check.

They are currently playing fetch with my husband and seem to be enjoying themselves.


Dani

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-Dani-

getgracie

Ah...we baby sat a 4 month old boxer boy last week and as much as Gracie doted & loved her baby Giorgio, she blocked him everytime her ran up to me for affection. She even prevented him from entering the kitchen when I was preparing to feed them. When Giorgio insisted, she growled and pinned him down. He cried and it sounded bad. It wasn't though. She was letting him know she was the alpha between the two of them. I only intervened once when i thought Gracie's correction weent a little too long.
That's the thing, it's tricky because you have to allow for it so that there is a pay off for both pups. If you correct Emma, then Liam will never know when to back off when Emma isn't comfortable ( like pesky little brothers in their sister's face) and Emma will never know a what point she can be effective with her corrections.
Although Liam was there first, they will still establish pack order amongst each other. They have their own hierarchy. Of course you are the true leader but speaking strictly about the two. They will figure it out.
A trainer will help guide you. It's worth the investment, believe me.

__________________
Jansen, Gracie's Mommy
RIP SUGAR Bear, 06/0 9/2001 - 07/02/2011.
Meet you at the Bridge, my sweet girl.

Catch the Goosie's antics on FaceBook!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100003573545888