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TO: GOD;[align=left] FROM: THE DOG[/align]
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt,
the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle"
the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a
bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into some one's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch .

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
 

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:rofl:   :-j   :rofl:


 Very Good!
 

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:lol:

I loved this one "4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'." because kaci and milo both rub their faces on anything that is ours...clothes, blankets, the bed, the couches, etc.
 

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Best laugh I have had in a long time.


                           Luann
 

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hahaha " 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. "

LMAO SOO TRUE!!!
 

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omg i am so glad i wasnt drinking my water when i read that...thats a riottttttttttttt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

thank you i needed that haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 

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ROTFLMAO...Yup, glad I put down the Gatorade before I started reading..That was great :)
 

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hilarious!!! always love a good laugh! thanks!  :lol:
 
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