Boxer Breed Dog Forums banner

1 - 20 of 39 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
We put our boxer, Tyson to sleep last Friday.  He was 12 1/2.  Not only am I missing him like crazy, but I'm struggling with feelings of guilt for choosing to let him go.  I keep going over and over it in my head...questioning whether or not it was too soon.  

Tyson had always been really healthy except for chronic ear infections.  His health deteriorated pretty rapidly in the past 6 months.  He had a tumor behind his eye and several tumors growing out of his skin.  He's always had a sensitive stomach, but he started getting sick more often.  He got a kidney infection a few months ago that cost $700 to cure...he almost died at that time.  He was getting arthritis pretty bad...he couldn't stand for very long without his rear end sinking down.  His legs were giving out on him from time to time and he would stumble around the yard and even fell down a few times in the house.  He lost his hearing over a year ago due to the chronic ear infections and he developed hematomas in each ear.  He also had a problem under his tail and the vet said it would eventually prevent him from being able to go to the bathroom (or yard).    

Well he started acting distant.  He's always been a loving member of the family and involved in everything.  He seemed to lose interest in all of us and kind of did his own thing.  Some days he was his old self, but most days he seemed sad and miserable and like he just didn't want to be here.  He began refusing to eat.  The only thing I could get him to eat was chicken and he was losing weight.  For the last week we had him, he howled every night.  He would cry off and on during the day, he constantly wanted to go outside.  Then last Wednesday he actually ran away from me.  He would sometimes roam over to the neighbor's yard, but he took off and he saw me coming after him and he kept going.  I finally caught up to him and he kept trying to get away, ran out in front of a car and almost got hit.  When I got him home, he didn't want to come back in.  We had been discussing letting him go...and early Friday morning he woke me up howling.  I went to check on him (he slept in the living room), he was in the window just howling and his back legs were all sunk down.  I tried to get him to sit so I could pet him and comfort him.  He just stood there and wouldn't look at me.  He kept crying that morning and we decided it was time.  I spent time with him hugging him, petting him, etc.  Once I had some one on one time, he acted like he didn't want to be around me anymore.  My husband took him, I stayed home...I thought that maybe he didn't want me there and I know he can sense my emotions and I didn't want to make his passing difficult.  My husband said he went very peacefully.

The thing is...I've never lost an animal that I've been so close to.  He was like a child to me and I feel like I betrayed his trust.  I didn't want him to suffer, I didn't want him to get so bad that he couldn't move.  I didn't want him to run away and get hit by a car, attacked by a dog or starve to death.  We think he was trying to get away to go off somewhere and die since he was refusing to eat and running away.  For anyone who has been through this...how do I make these feelings go away??  All the things he did that drove me nuts are the things I miss most!  I hope he knows I love him and I was trying to do what I thought he wanted.  All this stuff keeps going through my mind...did I make a decision too fast, should've I waited...but then I remind myself that he was old, his health was deteriorating and he wasn't going to get any better...if it wasn't that day it would've been another.  

I feel lost without my big boy.  He's been with me through every major crisis in my life.  I've had him since I was 18 and I'm now 30.  :(  My heart is broken...I think he took a piece of it with him...

Thanks for reading...

April
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,026 Posts
My heart is breaking for you. :cry:   I've never had an animal that long.  I don't think you should feel guilty.
I'm sorry for your loss and will pray for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,671 Posts
I am so sorry you are going through this! But just remember he is over the rainbow bridge and he is not in anymore pain or suffering! I dont really know what to say... But you are in my thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,349 Posts
You did the right thing and gave him the final gift that you could and that was to let him go when he needed to.  I have been thru this all too many times and I can tell you that their signs are always the same, the same ones you described.  Turning away from me, not wanting to eat, loss of interest in life.  Too many people let it go on way to long when their dogs show them in the only way they know how that they need to go on.  In my past losses I have grieved my lovely boxer and then went on to get another lucky dog to be with me.  It is the next gift that you can give your departed friend when you are ready.  

Our hearts go out to you.

Namaste'

Nano & kids
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,661 Posts
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It must be very difficult. 12.5 years is a very long life for a boxer, and it seems as though it was a very loving life as well. It seems as though he was telling you it was time, and you being the great owner you are listened to him. These times are very hard, but just remember he is pain free and waiting for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,728 Posts
April please, please don't second guess your decision. Tyson could not have said it any plainer, he was telling you he was tired, in pain and life here had no joy left in it for him. You did the only thing a loving and responsible pet parent can do, you let him go. I'm crying with you as I write this, we've had to make that decision several times and I know how it breaks your heart. Grieve his loss, celebrate his life, but please don't ever doubt that you did the best thing for him. When and if you are ready would love to hear some stories and see some pics of Tyson, I'm sure you had some wonderful times in 12 1/2 years.
RIP Tyson
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,429 Posts
I think he was telling you it was time to let him go and you did that for him.  Remember the good times with him; we would love to hear stories and see pictures when you are ready.  RIP sweet boy and run free.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,318 Posts
april,
i am so very sorry for your loss.12 1/2 years is long time for a boxer.judging by what you have said it sounds like you did the right thing.all of us boxer owners know how much they love life and tysons disinterest in it was a sure sign it was time.i am sure he took a piece of your heart with him,they capture your heart from day one and never let it go.cherish all those years and wonderful times you guys had together and know he is happy and not in pain anymore.if you need anything we are here!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,592 Posts
So sorry about Tyson.
I think you did the right thing in your case, he's in a better place.
My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine how sad you are.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,873 Posts
April - If it's any comfort I've been going through the same persevering since we had to put our boy down almost 6 months ago.  He'd  had horrible health problems, and multiple surgeries over the last year.  He was 9-1/2, and the 7 cm Prostate tumor they found, they  could never diagnose, was the end.   Thank goodness his team of vets were frank about letting him go in dignity without invasive, and scary interventions.  I slept on the floor with him the last month, but he wanted his space and wouldn't join us on the bed.  On a Saturday morning the vet called again and she knew it was his time.  I said "no" early that day, but called back later since I feared it was going to end up as an emergency where he would end up in with strangers in an ER hospital.  It took my last ounce of courage to be there while he was sedated.  Once asleep my husband stayed to see him off.  I was angry at the disease, and frustrated.  I know that part of grieving is wondering what you could have done, and whether you should have let them go sooner.  We deal with losing our closest friend in different ways.  There is also a kind of magical thinking where we expect them to come back.  How lucky you two were to have found each other.  I still struggle every day, there are dark days and nights I can't describe.  You're not alone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
45 Posts
I'm trying to decide if that is the fate of one of my dogs. I got Sassy when I was 11. I'm now 24 and know that the time is coming that she will no longer be with us. It's such a hard thing to do. She has been through so much with me. She stills acts like her self, but you can tell she feels old. She has trouble getting up and out in extreme cold or hot. In Illinois, you have both of those. The worst part is that my mom has recently been dignosed with terminal cancer of the liver. She's doing an expermental treatment in st. louis, (about 3 hrs away) but there is nothing that means it will prolong what time we have left. It's so hard to think about losing my mom, but my dog too. I know it's just a dog, but after everything that has happen over the years, I can't imagine no having her around. both of them for that matter. I didn't start out to write about my mom, but I guess I needed to. thanks for giving my the space to vent. It's hard to do with people who are going through it with me. thanks again
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,757 Posts
I am so sorry. It's never an easy decision, but it sounds like Tyson was ready and he did let you know.
Please believe, you did not betray his trust. You gave him the most unselfish final gift you could. I'm sure he is looking down smiling over you.
My condolences to you and your family.

Run free sweet Tyson.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,306 Posts
Please do not second guess your decision April. Deep down you probably know this, but you did what Tyson wanted...The hardest thing we can do is let our babies go, even tho the pain is so great for us, but we can and will go on..Remembering the good times and laughing over the silly times.....Honor his memory now by remembering Tyson the way he was and the way he would want you to remember him.....I feel your pain....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
92 Posts
April, for what its worth, it was a tough decision, but it was the right decision and you obviously made the decision out of love for your dog.  If only every dog were blessed with parents that love them as much as you love Tyson.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
491 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss and you did not betray his trust.  12.5 years of happy times with Tyson will always keep you smiling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
537 Posts
Oh man, you all have tears streaming down my face. I can't fathom the thought of losing my furbaby after so many years of good times. I know I will see the day though. You were so brave and you did the right thing. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,391 Posts
April you did the right thing I had a cocker for 14yrs and had to let her go she had cancer but now I can think about the good times  with her and not about the pain she was in, Tyson loves you and is greatfull for what you did for him
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,692 Posts
i have been there also...and felt those same feelings..please know in your heart you gave him love and his dignity..you let him go peacefully instead of in an emergency situation...

our prayers are with you...im so sorry ...it does sound like he had a long wonderful life
 
1 - 20 of 39 Posts
Top