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Discussion Starter #1
Okay this is totally off boxer topic but I have a question for you moms out there with young and older kids....
My kid has started pouting and I am getting to my wits end about it.....Grrrrrr......

She is 5 just started kinder at school (about 6 weeks into school) she has never been a pouting one.  She got sent to the office yesterday for pouting.  She got in trouble for something and crawled under the table and would not come out. The assistant principle had to come get her out....what an ordeal! When the assistant teacher tried to coax her out she kicked at her.  Sounds like a devil child, head spinning and spitting pea soup.....but she is really not.....certainly not a perfect child, but this is new for her to act this way.

I talked to her last night and she said that "nothing was wrong"......Agggggg!

Anyone been through it with a pouting child!
 

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Well I am definately not an expert on children and haven't had to deal with those kinds of issues...at least not yet.  Before kindergarden did she stay home with you?  or did she go to pre k or daycare?   If this is her 1st expierience away from home she could just be acting out because she misses being home with you.  Not sure just a thought.  Hopefully what ever it is will be resolved soon.
 

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[quote="luvmyboxers\";p=\"33581":2gkqjdex] she could just be acting out because she misses being home with you.
 

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I'm no expert either but I have always handled pouting in the same manner as I would handle a tantrum by ignoring the behavior.  Tantrums and pouting are a means to get ones way or to get attention.  If it doesn't get results, the behavior will stop.    Jollyrogers could be right.  Perhaps there is something going on in the class that is bothering her.    I wouldn't be too worried about it though.  She will likely work her way through it very soon.      :)
 

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I raised 5 skin kids and would have to guess that she is either bored and needs more stimulation and learning in school or someone said or did something to her to upset her.  Since this behavior is out of character for her and the fact that she has been interacting with other children since she was very young.  It doesn't sound like it's a separation anxiety problem.  It's only a guess, but I'd keep talking to her and see what's eating her.  You said she got in trouble for something..... what????  Maybe she felt she was being treated unfairly.  Kids today are so smart and I'm guessing she was just sticking up for herself in the only way she could.  Let us know what you find out and good luck.

On a personal note, when my son was her age and at about 6 weeks after starting kindergarten started, he got up and left school and walked home.  At that time I worked full time and got a frantic call from the school saying they had lost him!  I left work and flew over to the school to find that the principal had gone to our home and found him there watching tv.  He was driven to a day care facility and had never walked to school in his short little life.  I didn't even know he could find our home from school.  So what he did was really a shock to me.  The fact that he left school, went home, found the key and got in, changed his clothes and turned on the tv, and made lunch for himself was astonishing to me!!!   When I asked him why he did this.... he said, "dad said my shirt looked funny this morning and I didn't want to stay in school wearing a funny shirt."  GRRRR...!  Only share this because the smallest thing can seem huge to a 5 year old. Good luck Sharon!
 

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Kate-  I love the story about your son!  I can' t imagine what you must have felt.   I know it must have been close to terror, but I have to confess when I got to the part where he told you why he left I was just rolling.  I can imagine one of mine doing the same thing~ I just never had the experience.   What a smart young man!
 

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Lord Sharon i feel your pain. My daughter is 6 (soon to be 7) and ever since she got into school life has been not so easy. She to has been in day care because i work and it never seemed to bother her. Now she pouts, she hits, she yells back at me when i tell her to do something. If i tell her she needs to hurry she goes slower...i am sure you get the picture. It is so frustrating as a parent but it got to the point she started losing her favorite things. That helped for a while but now she just says " i dont care if you take my tv, go ahead and do it" so the whole time i am thinking "sh** now what??" we have started with time out again. That seems to be the only thing that is working with her. We tried do a good deed get a small reward, we tried ignoring, we tried everything-so far time out is it. She goes in the corner when she misbehaves and boy does she hate it. If she acts up even more cause she has to go in then minutes are added on. its hard, but i wont have THAT child be my child!! :)
 

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Sharon, I feel your pain, too...granted, I am dealing with teenagers at this point, but, trust me...it's just a repeat of the younger years(particularly the terrible twos!)

She sounds like a kiddo who has had every opportunity to adjust to her surroundings...so, I agree with Kate...doesn't sound like seperation anxiety to me...it does sound like she doesn't feel "safe" or "heard"...I, too, am wondering what she was in trouble for...the incidence of getting in trouble for something someone else did, started, whatever, is very high in the classroom...I saw it all of the time when I was in the classroom when Casey was small...and if she is accostomed to being allowed to communicate and explain where she was coming from or what she was doing...running into a system that doesn't want to hear it, with someone who doesn't really know her, might be a shock...it does seem like a response to feeling powerless. Personally, I had to smile...at least the little lady isn't going to be easy to push around!! ;) That is a very GOOD thing...as she gets older, you will be glad that she doesn't care so much what others think!  It is a heck of an adjustment to go from daycare to Kinder these days...don't know about your school districts...but, in ours, the pressure starts in Kindergarten. It's very frustrating...so, she could be reacting to that as well...

I also feel your pain on the "nothing is wrong" thing...I have TWO kids like that...and I am a very big "let's talk" kind of mom...drives me INSANE when they close up.  Honestly, I know she's young...but, you might find that just telling her that you realise how out of character this is for her and that there must have been something pretty distressing going on for her to respond that way...and that you hope she'll talk to you when she's ready, so you can help her sort it out...cause the world outside can be pretty overwhelming at times. You might be surprised at the response you get. Mine were listening pretty young...and empathy is very comforting and opens a lot of doors!

(Ok...and keep in mind I study psychology!ROTFLOL! SO, maybe I am a bit intense! ;) )
 

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ROFLMAO...Finally, someone understands my pain.

My 5 and 4 yr olds are like this.  Super SASSY and full of attitude, whining and pouting quickly became part of this nonsense too.  I figured out that its cuz she (my 5 yr old, and my other 2 miss her) is gone during the day and I'm gone at night, working.  

So I started making a star chart.  In the star chart, they help me do chores.  When they complete x tasks or x amount of tasks they get a star.  They get a certain number of stars, they get a special prize.  After x number of special prizes, they get a super special prize and then we start a new star chart.

I also use a behavior chart in conjunction with this.  We made it ourselves so it was fun.  It is basically a long piece of paper that has 3 pockets (paper) on it.  One pocket is to hold all the behaviors "markers".  One is for the bad "markers".  One is for the good "markers".  When the child is being good (in the evening or at intervals during the day) you put a good behavior "marker" in the good pocket.  If the child is misbehaving, do the same with the bad behavior "markers".  A good spin on this is to have the children put the behavior markers in the pockets.  It seems to help my kids recognize the behavior in a more "real" fashion.  When my kids misbehave x numer of times, they lose a star.  If they are good and dont get any starts taken away the whole week, they get to do something special just with Mommy and they get to choose what it is.  If they go a whole month (hasn't happened yet, but they're getting better) without losing stars, they get to pick something special for the WHOLE family to do with Mommy.

I have found that this works for my kids and I.  It has drastically improved their behavior and given them something to work for.  We still have bad days, but they are fewer and farther between now (which is the way I like it).

I hope this helps.
 

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Sorry, I'm not much help here.  Kenny is 13 goin on 2! :roll:   He is just rediculous right now!  My hubby is making him do push-ups as temporary punishment, usually for back talk.

Sounds like some really good advice above.  Good luck with the little sweetie!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks Liz those are some good things to try and I guess maybe going back to time out is not a bad idea either.  

I went to school today and had lunch with her and that gave me a chance to talk to the teacher.  Her thing yesterday was that a group of kids (3 to 4 girls) were acting up in the lunchroom (tossing a paper wrapper back and forth).  Upon returning to the classroom all of them were told to move their pins down. (the school works on a color system kind of like Liz was saying) good behavior they stay on green and as the day goes on or they do something they are not suppose to they move down the list...green, blue, yellow, orange and purple.  Purple goes to the office. Anyway....she told them to move the pin down and my daughter protested that she was not throwing the paper only catching it before it hit the floor...so she refused to move her pin....that progressed to a major pout session and her crawling under the table and not coming out until the principle came and got her.  :?  

I agree Jeanene that school today for this age is soooooooo strict and they learn so much very early....She is now on PROBATION  :roll:   for 10 days and if she "violates" (gets purple again during the 10 days) she will go to in school suspension....I am just in shock over the WHOLE thing and find myself thinking back to the days when seeing the principle meant getting a paddle and you were scared to have to go down there......Ugggggg give me strength.... I have 13 (plus) years left!!!!  8O
 

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Poor baby!  I'd pout too!
I'd get mad at the teacher for that one.  I have very little patience for injustice against my child, even if he is a pain right now!
 

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Yup...I figured there was a sense of injustice involved...PROBATION...in KINDERGARTEN...sheesh...this reminds me of the time my son "didn't make his day" because he needed to go to the bathroom...the teacher wasn't happy about the timing, I guess, and it ended up being a bigger deal then it needed to be(to say the least)...this is a good kid...gets good grades...and this is NOT the one who tries to get out of class! LOL! The teacher admitted she had been having a bad day herself.  Yikes!

Probation...I am still fuming!LOL! wow...
 

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Wow! Yeah, that doesn't even make sence to me.  Who gets probation and in school suspension in kindergarden?  I had one of those crazy days with my 4 yr old son this evening.  He just started pre k a few weeks ago and so his schedule is a little different than before.  And now he is so grumpy in the evenings.  I'm guessing he's just not getting as much sleep and his day is a little busier now.  Well today we were at my older sons football practice and my little one was acting up and ended up throwing a huge fit.  Never had I seen my child act like that.  Needless to say when we got home he went straight to bed and he's not allowed to go to football pracitce with me the rest of the season (he loves to go).  I guess I need to put him to bed a little earlier than I do and hope he gets used to this new schedule soon.  He's wonderful in the a.m. and great at school but in the evening..... :((
 

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My son and daughter are teens as well, and yes you do go through the temper and pouting stage again only the second time it is everyone in the worlds fault but their own.  So prepare yourself!

Anyway back to your daughter- I do family daycare in my home.  I had this with a little girl who started with me at an older age. To deal with her new environment and sharing attention with more people the .  She started melting down with tears, throwing herself on the ground and biting at the age of 4.  We felt that she was trying to force us to give her the attention she thought she needed.  When placed in a time out area where there was no one to see her, soon those fits went away.  Now another little boy would act out because he was overwlehmed at times by the kids needed the down time that the time out area allowed him.  

So here is my both sides of the coin, no real help answer, IMHO she is either feeling that she needs more attention which she gets when they chase after her or she is over stimulated and needs time and space to regroup by hided and pouting.

This too shall pass- rarely do you see anyone in High School Senior Lit. pouting under the table.
 

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Suspension for Kindgergarten????!!!!  I thought stuff here was bad- rubber bands are considered a weapon on the same level as a gun/knife.  I have to applaud her for stepping up and speaking out about her part in the whole thing. That is a trait that is very rare in most adults, nevermind children.

My oldest son- now 16- was told when he was a child, that if he could formulate solid logical reasoning to me and present it to me in a logical and thoughtful manner, I would consider his point of view just as valid as anyone elses involved. We told him that it wouldn't guarantee he would change our mind, but we could guarantee we would listen.   He was almost 3 at the time, and I thought I would encourage him to use words instead of tantrums, screaming, whining, etc.  Let me tell you...  I may have created a very articulate, thoughtful child, but I may have also created a monster! :devil:  

He never fails to stand up for percieved injustices for himself or his siblings or his friends.  Most of his teachers love this, but it has caused some issues with others that have felt children should be seen & not heard and should NEVER question authority.  My big motto for my kids is " You can disagree, but you don't have to be disrespectful".   I've joked that I either have a politician, lawyer or salesman in the making.  Tee Hee  Sounds like your daughter is very bright and reasons well.  Good luck to you and give he a big HOORAY from us  (not for the meltdown, but for standing up for herself!!!)
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Thanks for all the kind words.  It is overwhelming at times because as alot of mother's probably tell school officials "my child does not act like this at home" :)  i agree they are strict on doing probation, in school and out of school susp for grade K.  At the same time this is a great school and I actually moved to the area for her to go to school there.....

I feel to that all this shall pass.  I wonder if it is a "teacher" issue and time will tell that.  I guess I just dont want for others in the school to see her "record" and think ohhhhh this is a bad kid! Spoiled maybe but not bad :)
 

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Sharon..
i ahve one in kindergarten that spent 2 yrs in pre school also with close to no issues there..only difference hes autistic ( not born that way) long story but short is the drugs from a 34 days life support from te rsv virus brought on the autistm
anway..his pre school teacher is a good friend of mine now and had prepped me for this...kindergarten has such big demands and so different then they are used to tht they tend to get aggrivated ...my sons ,both would have protested just like yours did...if they do something wrong they admit it...but if they didnt...and you accuse them or they get in trouble b/c they just happend to be there..look out !..i have run into this same thing already a few times this year..luckily mine has a skills trainer( for the autism ) that is there withhim..so she caught it and said no he wasnt involved.....but the kids even at this age are cruel..unreal but tru...kids were dong something cant remember what but the teacher had gone around the corner to get something..when she came back she caught the tail end and they all got in trouble..names on the board etc..well dont you know my son was across the room and the kids tried to blame him!!!!!!!!!! these are 5 year olds..straight out lying...his saving grace was the skills trainer saying " NO he was across the room with me the whole time"
its very frustrating that these little kids have already noticed hes different and b/c he doesnt speak as well as they do and has had a few autistic meltdowns ( crying and upset) they blame him b/c they think he cant tell that he didnt...

schools now are so differnt then when i was little ( 70's)..jsut sad..kids are so much older than their age....

i think its a learning process..although i DO NOT believe that punishment that harsh(suspension) for that age is appropriate or even understood by the child

jeez, kids were throwing paper, she wasnt and she gets in trouble? she was upset and no one was listening...of course she didnt want to hear anything they had to say...shes little...and shes obviously got a great mom that listens to her and knows when she does something and when she doesnt..therefore she doesnt understand why shes not being heard...

** remember when we were little there was morning kindergarten and afternoon session? B/C THE DAY WAS TOO LONG FOR THEM !!! DUH !!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE MY SON HAS HOMEWORK EVERYNIGHT?...LIKE HE CAN DO IT ALONE? SO I GUESS THEY THINK WE ALL NEED  A TO DO LIST B/C WE ARE BORED? JEEEEEEEEEEEEZ... :roll:

just a note...hawaii is gorgeous but the school system was the BOTTOM of the list for dept of education across the country the past 10 yrs...
 
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