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OK, what is the purpose of this post? You realize that this is a Boxer forum?

I'm sorry but I don't think that this is the place to post this?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
OK, what is the purpose of this post? You realize that this is a Boxer forum?

I'm sorry but I don't think that this is the place to post this?
I posted it in the general forums section. I have seen posts regarding a number of other topics in the same forum. The forum section title itself states anything goes. Am I mistaken? Being this is a dog related story I was posting to see if anyone else has dealt with a situation like this.
 

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Granted, that is true. However, I think this is very personal information. I personally wouldn't post something like this on a public forum. But I guess that's just my opinion!
 

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Granted, that is true. However, I think this is very personal information. I personally wouldn't post something like this on a public forum. But I guess that's just my opinion!
I agree, that is why I used no real names or much detail. It is a story about a dog who suffered and a mother who turned that suffering into suffering for another. Sometimes getting feedback from an objective third party helps with dealing with a situation. Thats why I posted it. No person involved in this story other than myself will ever be on this page. I want to hear peoples perspective on this. If this place is to remain rainbows and boxer kisses ill keep it light.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Learn to use paragraphs please.
My apologies. I edited it to be a little more user friendly. I am starting to think I am asking for a flaming posting this on an animal specific site. I enjoy topics that incite emotion and thought whether negative or positive.:discuss:
 

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So it seems you're looking for a flaming. Well since you're now asking for opinions, I'll give you mine.

Sounds like your future mother-in-law has been this way all her life. She is not going to change. Either you accept her the way she is, or you cut her out of your life. There's really nothing more to it. It's unfortunate that she seems to love her pets more than her children, but that's not something you can go back and undo now. The damage is done. Maybe your girlfriend would benefit from counseling (if she isn't already).
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
So it seems you're looking for a flaming. Well since you're now asking for opinions, I'll give you mine.

Sounds like your future mother-in-law has been this way all her life. She is not going to change. Either you accept her the way she is, or you cut her out of your life. There's really nothing more to it. It's unfortunate that she seems to love her pets more than her children, but that's not something you can go back and undo now. The damage is done. Maybe your girlfriend would benefit from counseling (if she isn't already).
Thanks Sasasola, that is essentially the conclusion My girlfriend and I have come to as even after she layed all these things out to her she remains dellusional regarding the situation. I guess I should have framed the post around the idea of "Why some people refuse to make the hard decision when one of their pets is suffering"
 

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So it seems you're looking for a flaming. Well since you're now asking for opinions, I'll give you mine.

Sounds like your future mother-in-law has been this way all her life. She is not going to change. Either you accept her the way she is, or you cut her out of your life. There's really nothing more to it. It's unfortunate that she seems to love her pets more than her children, but that's not something you can go back and undo now. The damage is done. Maybe your girlfriend would benefit from counseling (if she isn't already).

I must say I completely agree. I'm one of the crazies who actually loves my dog more than my family (most days). My family had never been that great emotionally to me and wyatt is always there to cheer me up when feeling down. When we wake up or before bed I give the dog a kiss and tell him I love him before the bf... I had the dog before the bf and that's just how it is...

This is the gf's problem. She chooses to to still associate with her mother even after years of her mother putting her on the back burner. There's nothing that says you can't cut off family members. Maybe the gf was an accident and a burden to her mother/parents and her other hates her. I've seen this before in child care.

I also think you're biased bc you have daughters yourself. From what I gathered from the story the father loves his daughter...? Or is he like the mother?

The gf needs to either detach herself from her mother or you don't visit them.

My bf has a friend I don't care for at all, he's made very poor decisions that caused some slight turmoil/stress in our relationship that wasn't necessary. I have asked him to not speak about him to me, I would prefer he not come to our house (at least not while I'm there), if they want to hang out they can go else where. I can honestly say this is the only human being that I do not give a damn about. I would maybe suggest you and the gf make arrangements so that if she chooses to visit her parents you are not obligated to go, you don't want to hear about the visit or hear how her mother treats her bc it makes you upset. Mother/daughter and daddy/daughter relationships for the most part are completely different. I'm way closer to my dad than to my mom and to this day (almost 31) still tell my "daddy" big news before my mom.
 

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If I have to go out of town my Dogs are boarded if I can't find a pet sitter! But other than adding stress to the MIL, your dog really seems to have not played a part in this "drama."

Some people do have what would be considered an "irrational" response over there dogs!

But I guess I'm not one to be casting stones! I lost a life long friend/slash roommate because I did not like the fact that he kept "ignoring" Struddell!

She would sit politely and whine for his attention and he couldn't be bothered to give her the time of day! He had to go! Been five years since I last saw him, he was something of a butt hole anyway but Struddell loved "everybody!"

I don't have kids so I don't know how that dynamic would work for me?? But I do know I protect my dogs, if a stray dog comes at "us" on a walk my dogs go behind me and daddy deals with the problem!

I know I have been unfit to be a K9 handler, I've seem them do the "come out with your hands up or I'll send in the dog!!" I say "screw that, bullets are cheaper!"

So...yeah:)
 

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Well here is my take....
MIL..may be over board but thats her prerogative .
Daughter feels neglected? Not sure she really does, she apparently knows how her mom is
You..Don't like what you see or how your GF is treated, either accept that this is the way it is or don't visit.
Personally I wouldn't bring my pets there and would probably stay at a nearby hotel so that my visit would be in small doses and I could live when I felt I had enough.
Now that I'm older and have seen all different types of people I've learned to just accept people at who they are even when I disagree. I don't have to live my life like them and I've learned to be happy with who I am. I guess this is what you will need to do if you continue with this relationship.
Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I must say I completely agree. I'm one of the crazies who actually loves my dog more than my family (most days). My family had never been that great emotionally to me and wyatt is always there to cheer me up when feeling down. When we wake up or before bed I give the dog a kiss and tell him I love him before the bf... I had the dog before the bf and that's just how it is...

This is the gf's problem. She chooses to to still associate with her mother even after years of her mother putting her on the back burner. There's nothing that says you can't cut off family members. Maybe the gf was an accident and a burden to her mother/parents and her other hates her. I've seen this before in child care.

I also think you're biased bc you have daughters yourself. From what I gathered from the story the father loves his daughter...? Or is he like the mother?

The gf needs to either detach herself from her mother or you don't visit them.

My bf has a friend I don't care for at all, he's made very poor decisions that caused some slight turmoil/stress in our relationship that wasn't necessary. I have asked him to not speak about him to me, I would prefer he not come to our house (at least not while I'm there), if they want to hang out they can go else where. I can honestly say this is the only human being that I do not give a damn about. I would maybe suggest you and the gf make arrangements so that if she chooses to visit her parents you are not obligated to go, you don't want to hear about the visit or hear how her mother treats her bc it makes you upset. Mother/daughter and daddy/daughter relationships for the most part are completely different. I'm way closer to my dad than to my mom and to this day (almost 31) still tell my "daddy" big news before my mom.
Thank you Wyatts momma for engaging in this thread in a mature objective manner. I agree with you regarding breaking ties with family. However she does not share that same mindset and I am in the position of shoulder and advice giver (When needed.) I know that I will have a minimal relationship with her parents due to the way they treat her however am tied to them through the care of their horses which we assume those responsibilities on a monthly basis. This thread had no real point, just wanted to see if anyone else out there has had a similar situation.
 

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Here's a really good question to think about, you don't need to publicly answer if you're not comfortable, but how does she act with your children? Is she motherly, caring, play with them, do their hair, listen to their rambles, can you see her being their future step mother? To me, that would be more important than her mother. Also how do your girls like her? How is her mother with your girls? Is she accepting of them, are they permitted to visit as well? I don't have skin kids, but after my ex and I broke up (who I got wyatt w/), I was very particular who I dated and kept in my life. I dated a few "boys" before I met my bf now and wyatt didn't care for them to say the least. When we met the bf now, wyatt was a complete wiggle butt, giving him kisses and just absolutely loved him! I'm sure if I had skin kids I would make sure there was that connection as well.
 

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Here's a really good question to think about, you don't need to publicly answer if you're not comfortable, but how does she act with your children? Is she motherly, caring, play with them, do their hair, listen to their rambles, can you see her being their future step mother? To me, that would be more important than her mother. Also how do your girls like her? How is her mother with your girls? Is she accepting of them, are they permitted to visit as well? I don't have skin kids, but after my ex and I broke up (who I got wyatt w/), I was very particular who I dated and kept in my life. I dated a few "boys" before I met my bf now and wyatt didn't care for them to say the least. When we met the bf now, wyatt was a complete wiggle butt, giving him kisses and just absolutely loved him! I'm sure if I had skin kids I would make sure there was that connection as well.
Oh my GF is absolutely wonderful with my girls. They love her and all in all she is nothing like her mother which is what makes the situation even more baffling to me. Her mother has shot down every attempt at her and I bringing my daughters around to see the horses which also has lead to this conflict. I have always been one to voice my opinion and stand up for anyone who I feel is being unjustly treated poorly whether it is by a family member or not. Holding my tongue is not an option when it comes to this. I feel that I we should not continue to help with the care of the horses if the treatment of my GF does not change. So that is an additional part of this dynamic that is conflicting. I love taking care of the horses yet the horses are and have always been higher of a priority than my GF in her mothers eyes. Ive come to the conclusion that I am going to have to find that middle ground where I can be supportive of my GF, and still stand firm in the standard for which I believe my GF should be treated. Ill continue with the horses for the horses sake. I can live with that. Thanks for listening. :discuss:
 

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She's not like her mother bc she knows how it feels to be treated that way and seems like the gf has a heart unlike her mother! My bf's parents were useless in his upbringing. His sisters who are 10 yrs older than him had to raise him, I kid you not, bathe, feed, change him even filled out his kindergarten registration papers! His father never went to his football games nor picked him up. He seriously had to walk a mile uphill to get home with school books and football equipment. He is completely different from his parents bc he learned from their mistakes, like your gf seems to have done as well.
 
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