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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello!! I’m new to this forum but I thought it would be the best place for some advice. My boyfriend and I are loving in together. He has an almost 4 year old (very dominant) not neutered male and he got me my baby Remington who is 16 weeks. We plan on getting his boxer neutered within the next couple months. They get along great if they are outside playing but my boyfriends dog has gone after Remi a few times over food, toys and his dog being protective of him. Does anyone have any tips on how to better acclimate them to each other to the point that I don’t have anxiety about them being alone together?? We have them together a few times a week but next month I am going away with my family and he will have both dogs. Thank you in advance for any tips and advice!!!
 

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Ok well ... to keep it real, how much do you trust your boy friend with your puppy and his dog?? Cuz the fact of the matter is "some mature dog's," do not like puppies! And if they go to far ... they will and can kill them in a "split second!" And that is a "FACT!"

You two have "Work to do," in order to make this work. And frankly "the best advise," if you have to go "skipping off right now??" Is to make "arrangement's," to send your puppy some place safe for right now! And for the record ... "neutering to solve aggression issue's," is a myth!

There is "work that need's to be done," to make this work! And skipping out right now?? Is not a good call, on your part to be honest. If your "boy friend's," dog traumatizes, your pup in your absence?? Your gonna have a "life time of crap," to deal with! Getting the pup and then leavening him is an "unstable," situation, was not a "wise choice," on your part. But hey ... I don't know your "Boy Friend??" But I do know ... you are "here," and he is not???

But hey, I am just "one of many!" And I like to keep it Real! As it were but maybe some, other member will see a different take??? :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ok well ... to keep it real, how much do you trust your boy friend with your puppy and his dog?? Cuz the fact of the matter is "some mature dog's," do not like puppies! And if they go to far ... they will and can kill them in a "split second!" And that is a "FACT!"

You two have "Work to do," in order to make this work. And frankly "the best advise," if you have to go "skipping off right now??" Is to make "arrangement's," to send your puppy some place safe for right now! And for the record ... "neutering to solve aggression issue's," is a myth!

There is "work that need's to be done," to make this work! And skipping out right now?? Is not a good call, on your part to be honest. If your "boy friend's," dog traumatizes, your pup in your absence?? Your gonna have a "life time of crap," to deal with! Getting the pup and then leavening him is an "unstable," situation, was not a "wise choice," on your part. But hey ... I don't know your "Boy Friend??" But I do know ... you are "here," and he is not???

But hey, I am just "one of many!" And I like to keep it Real! As it were but maybe
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I trust him 100%. He would never let anything happen to Remi. I was more looking for advice on how to better get them acclimated better. And I’m not skipping out...just seeing my dad who I haven’t been able to see in over a year. My boyfriend couldn’t get off work or he would be going too and the dogs would be in a kennel. Telling me that my dog will be killed in a split second is not helpful advice. Just gave me more anxiety. I appreciate you “keeping it real” but that will now keep me up all night.
 

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Ok, no problem! That is what I needed to know ... you can "Trust Him!!" And if that is the case ... then here is where I would start ... with his dog. Start working on Place! :


And the fact of the matter is ... "I always recommend training "The Place Command!" for "every dog!" No matter "whatever the circumstances!" End of story if you don't ...it's long series of "No/No?No!!??? And that gets old fast!!

It does not fix every thing ... but it's a good start!! Then you only have one dog/puppy to deal with! Moving on is the puppy "Crate Trained??" As that would be helpful. As you don't want the pup and the older dog to be left unsupervised ever!

Beyond that you don't want the pup the badger the older dog ... as he pretty much will!. My (fromerly) Dog Aggressive, American Band Dawg, absolutely Luv'd puppies!! He pretty much raised/trained all my Boxer and Boxer/Pitt puppies. Leaving them home alone was never an issue. But you can pretty much tell if that is the case out the gate! But that does not sound like it is your situation??

So it's gonna be up to your BF, to sit boundaries for the puppy. He need's to keep a careful eye on the pair! And if the pup start's to get on the older dog's last nerve??," It's time for a "Time Out!" Older dog to "Place," once "Trained. And the pup to in his Crate or you know "Place," also ... if you, he train's both to that command, which would be "Ideal!"

And yes sure a "PIA," to start! But in the long run, spending the effort to train "Place," for the two of them out the gate, "now." Will make your lives ... much easier in the long run!

So you know ... lot's of work,sure but is this better?? :)
 

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IMO & IME, it is certainly doable. 9 out of the 10 dogs I've had in my lifetime have been male and all of them "overlapped" at some point with another male.

OP, unfortunately it's not always a simple thing to have two dogs live together peacefully. You and BF must do your due diligence and learn to recognize the older dog's cues- it's not always an obvious baring of teeth or sinister growl. You should both be able to recognize when he's reaching his threshold so that one of you will preemptively remove the pup from the situation. It would normally be a "two-way street" as to which dog is put up, but since BF's dog is much older and can potentially cause more harm, the pup should be the one to be crated.

How do the two play & interact (if at all) on "neutral" ground (park, schoolyard, etc.)? That is usually a good indicator of how well they can potentially get along. As Chip mentioned, get both of them trained up with a solid "place" command. Get them crate-trained, if they aren't already. Personally, I have always introduced new dogs very, very slowly- gradually increasing the duration that they are both "free" at the same time, and always, always supervised. The possible consequences are too serious to ignore or minimize.

I start by doing a "crate and rotate" where only one dog at time is free. Whichever dog is crated, I'm always sure to reinforce how "good" it is that there's another dog here by rewarding calm neutrality in the crate, e.g. make it rain treats when he's calm in the crate, with the other dog in sight. If they play well at a neutral site, stick to that site, for now, for their direct interactions.

OP, you're going to have to be your pup's advocate. Point out anything you find uncomfortable to your BF regarding his dog. If you feel that your pup has had enough or is being a tiny bit too "annoying" at that moment- crate him, remove all doubt, keep him safe and try again later.

Finally, it really is best if you put away all toys and "doggy possesions" when they're free together. When giving treats, deliver them directly to each dog's mouth- no tossing, lest it land in between the dogs.

I know it seems overly cautious, but realize that you're essentially forcing a toddler and single, adult bachelor to be roommates.

Oops almost forgot- Chip is 100% correct re: neutering. Reducing aggression is NOT a reason to neuter a dog because well, it is not the panacea that vets and the aspca make it out to be. I'm NOT telling you to not to do it- just know that neutering rarely has an appreciable effect on a dog's aggression.
 

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I hope you will never ever leave that puppy alone with that older male. I agree with the other posters that there is great potential for injury and harm to the puppy. Also your puppy is like a sponge right now soaking up all information around him and how he should interact with other dogs he is being taught a terrible lesson by this older dog at the moment and one he will not forget on how to behave towards other dogs. They learn not only from humans but dogs as well so its important you step up and contain this situation. I had an older female when I got my first male and she hated him but working together we got to a point of tolerance not love but no violence. This is gonna take alot of work and right away the rotating crate thing one in one out is good start removing toys feed them separately give them treats separately. The older dog should be corrected when he is threatening the puppy and the puppy should be corrected when he is too obnoxious with the older dog when he is sleeping or doesn't want to be bothered you are going to have to be vigilant and on top of this or you will be in for a life time of fighting. It helps to spend separate quality time with each dog the older dog may feel jealous and need some walks on his own away from the puppy. Just think what its like to be forced to spend all day with someone you didn't like
 

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Seems your BF's dog has some resource guarding issues. Never feed them at the same time, do not give treats unsupervised or anything that will take a while to eat, Bully sticks, bones etc.. No toys left out.

Because your BF's dog has these issues you don't want to leave or have anything out that the older dog has taken possession of and can trigger a response if the pup tries to take it or gets close whether it be a toy, treat, meals... etc.

Good advice to crate and rotate.

I would definitely work on the resource guarding, that seems to be the major issue. Depending on the severity of it you can search online for videos of how to correct it, or hire a competent trainer.

Good luck


Also just wanted to add, your bf's dog being neutered will not change behavior if you are looking for that as quick fix. Really the only time that would even possibly come into play is if a female in heat was around.
 

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Aww well ... I depend on other's for "Back Up," as it were. Cuz quite often I am not the best of messenger for my message? IE it's not what you say ... it's how you say it??? But hey, somebody has to sometimes" be the "Bad Guy??" And yeah, often that is me???

But ... you know .... 'if you got a "serious, issue???" And your back is against the wall??? I'm one of the very few that won't say ... " Just Find a Trainer!" The Dog comes first for me ..."good or bad that is how I am??" And I will say that "No" I have not heard on here of a Boxer?? Killing a puppy?? But it could happen!

I am not saying it can't "work out in the long run??" But I was trying to say ... your timing "Suck's!" Couch it how you will, but you are "abandoning," "your," puppy at a "critical time," in his life and leaving him under the care of someone else! In an "unstable situation." That "is," what you are doing, End Of Story." In an "Ideal World," the older "Dog," would luv the puppy! Some dog's do and some dog's ... not so much???

The difference between dog's that "like puppy's," and those that don't?? Is pretty obvious ... which is why you are here apparently?? And to your credit you are "wise enough," to see that. :)

It's a "Boxer Forum," and you know come "Hell or High Water," our Dog's come first! I seriously doubt that anyone of the member's chiming in now ... would do what you are proposing, with a new puppy?? But hey I "Don't Know??" But speaking for my self ... "I Trust, No One!" When it comes to my "Dog's" or you know ... other people's "Dog's," under my "Protection??" I "Roll Hard!" A few have tried ... to get to them but none have succeed! Cuz "I don't Play! There is not a chance in HE&&! That "I" would do what you are "proposing? You know cuz ... I "Trust No One!" With my dog's ... it toook nine year's before we "took a two day vacation!" And I had to have my Struddelll and Rocky Kenneled! And at that I told the "Kennel," they are to be together and "No Free Play," with other dog's!!

We went to the "wedding," and we were out of there (my best friend's, first child's wedding.) And we were freaking ouit of there ...shortly there after! And my "dog's," were just fine! But it really was not much of a break cuz the whole time ... my only thought was are my Dog's Ok?? But hey perhaps, that kinda of anal is just me??
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Seems your BF's dog has some resource guarding issues. Never feed them at the same time, do not give treats unsupervised or anything that will take a while to eat, Bully sticks, bones etc.. No toys left out.

Because your BF's dog has these issues you don't want to leave or have anything out that the older dog has taken possession of and can trigger a response if the pup tries to take it or gets close whether it be a toy, treat, meals... etc.

Good advice to crate and rotate.

I would definitely work on the resource guarding, that seems to be the major issue. Depending on the severity of it you can search online for videos of how to correct it, or hire a competent trainer.

Good luck


Also just wanted to add, your bf's dog being neutered will not change behavior if you are looking for that as quick fix. Really the only time that would even possibly come into play is if a female in heat was around.
Thank you! They are never left unsupervised at any time and we learned very quickly to feed them separately and no toys/chew things together. When they are outside together they play for hours without an issue. I’m hoping this is a good sign! We take them on walks together as well and they do great. When they see each other after a day or so apart you would think their butts would wiggle off they are so excited.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Ok, no problem! That is what I needed to know ... you can "Trust Him!!" And if that is the case ... then here is where I would start ... with his dog. Start working on Place! :


And the fact of the matter is ... "I always recommend training "The Place Command!" for "every dog!" No matter "whatever the circumstances!" End of story if you don't ...it's long series of "No/No?No!!??? And that gets old fast!!

It does not fix every thing ... but it's a good start!! Then you only have one dog/puppy to deal with! Moving on is the puppy "Crate Trained??" As that would be helpful. As you don't want the pup and the older dog to be left unsupervised ever!

Beyond that you don't want the pup the badger the older dog ... as he pretty much will!. My (fromerly) Dog Aggressive, American Band Dawg, absolutely Luv'd puppies!! He pretty much raised/trained all my Boxer and Boxer/Pitt puppies. Leaving them home alone was never an issue. But you can pretty much tell if that is the case out the gate! But that does not sound like it is your situation??

So it's gonna be up to your BF, to sit boundaries for the puppy. He need's to keep a careful eye on the pair! And if the pup start's to get on the older dog's last nerve??," It's time for a "Time Out!" Older dog to "Place," once "Trained. And the pup to in his Crate or you know "Place," also ... if you, he train's both to that command, which would be "Ideal!"

And yes sure a "PIA," to start! But in the long run, spending the effort to train "Place," for the two of them out the gate, "now." Will make your lives ... much easier in the long run!

So you know ... lot's of work,sure but is this better?? :)
Thank you so much! Remi is crate trained so that does help. My boyfriends dog tolerates him for the most part when they aren’t in play mode but will let him know when he’s had enough. Remi is still learning when enough is enough but he’s getting there. My boyfriend is amazing with both dogs and would never let anything happen to the puppy. They are never left unsupervised together and won’t be for a long time. We plan on taking them to training together. I just was reaching out for some advice and to calm my nerves. Thank you again!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Aww well ... I depend on other's for "Back Up," as it were. Cuz quite often I am not the best of messenger for my message? IE it's not what you say ... it's how you say it??? But hey, somebody has to sometimes" be the "Bad Guy??" And yeah, often that is me???

But ... you know .... 'if you got a "serious, issue???" And your back is against the wall??? I'm one of the very few that won't say ... " Just Find a Trainer!" The Dog comes first for me ..."good or bad that is how I am??" And I will say that "No" I have not heard on here of a Boxer?? Killing a puppy?? But it could happen!

I am not saying it can't "work out in the long run??" But I was trying to say ... your timing "Suck's!" Couch it how you will, but you are "abandoning," "your," puppy at a "critical time," in his life and leaving him under the care of someone else! In an "unstable situation." That "is," what you are doing, End Of Story." In an "Ideal World," the older "Dog," would luv the puppy! Some dog's do and some dog's ... not so much???

The difference between dog's that "like puppy's," and those that don't?? Is pretty obvious ... which is why you are here apparently?? And to your credit you are "wise enough," to see that. :)

It's a "Boxer Forum," and you know come "Hell or High Water," our Dog's come first! I seriously doubt that anyone of the member's chiming in now ... would do what you are proposing, with a new puppy?? But hey I "Don't Know??" But speaking for my self ... "I Trust, No One!" When it comes to my "Dog's" or you know ... other people's "Dog's," under my "Protection??" I "Roll Hard!" A few have tried ... to get to them but none have succeed! Cuz "I don't Play! There is not a chance in HE&&! That "I" would do what you are "proposing? You know cuz ... I "Trust No One!" With my dog's ... it toook nine year's before we "took a two day vacation!" And I had to have my Struddelll and Rocky Kenneled! And at that I told the "Kennel," they are to be together and "No Free Play," with other dog's!!

We went to the "wedding," and we were out of there (my best friend's, first child's wedding.) And we were freaking ouit of there ...shortly there after! And my "dog's," were just fine! But it really was not much of a break cuz the whole time ... my only thought was are my Dog's Ok?? But hey perhaps, that kinda of anal is just me??
I don’t feel like I am abandoning him in an unstable situation as he is around my boyfriend and his dog a few times a week over the course of the couple months I have had him. He stays the night at least 2 times a week with all of us and his home is not an unfamiliar place to my dog. I am going to be away for one night. My dog is crate trained and they are never left alone together. They are also given personal attention as well as play time together. I just felt a little attacked by your response but I do appreciate your candor.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
IMO & IME, it is certainly doable. 9 out of the 10 dogs I've had in my lifetime have been male and all of them "overlapped" at some point with another male.

OP, unfortunately it's not always a simple thing to have two dogs live together peacefully. You and BF must do your due diligence and learn to recognize the older dog's cues- it's not always an obvious baring of teeth or sinister growl. You should both be able to recognize when he's reaching his threshold so that one of you will preemptively remove the pup from the situation. It would normally be a "two-way street" as to which dog is put up, but since BF's dog is much older and can potentially cause more harm, the pup should be the one to be crated.

How do the two play & interact (if at all) on "neutral" ground (park, schoolyard, etc.)? That is usually a good indicator of how well they can potentially get along. As Chip mentioned, get both of them trained up with a solid "place" command. Get them crate-trained, if they aren't already. Personally, I have always introduced new dogs very, very slowly- gradually increasing the duration that they are both "free" at the same time, and always, always supervised. The possible consequences are too serious to ignore or minimize.

I start by doing a "crate and rotate" where only one dog at time is free. Whichever dog is crated, I'm always sure to reinforce how "good" it is that there's another dog here by rewarding calm neutrality in the crate, e.g. make it rain treats when he's calm in the crate, with the other dog in sight. If they play well at a neutral site, stick to that site, for now, for their direct interactions.

OP, you're going to have to be your pup's advocate. Point out anything you find uncomfortable to your BF regarding his dog. If you feel that your pup has had enough or is being a tiny bit too "annoying" at that moment- crate him, remove all doubt, keep him safe and try again later.

Finally, it really is best if you put away all toys and "doggy possesions" when they're free together. When giving treats, deliver them directly to each dog's mouth- no tossing, lest it land in between the dogs.

I know it seems overly cautious, but realize that you're essentially forcing a toddler and single, adult bachelor to be roommates.

Oops almost forgot- Chip is 100% correct re: neutering. Reducing aggression is NOT a reason to neuter a dog because well, it is not the panacea that vets and the aspca make it out to be. I'm NOT telling you to not to do it- just know that neutering rarely has an appreciable effect on a dog's aggression.
Outside they play for HOURS! To the point they both just lie down and pant for their lives...no aggression whatsoever. We do not have any toys, food or treats available to either of them when they are together. They are also fed separately. We give them treats but acknowledge their own spaces and that they both get the attention and reward. My puppy is crate trained and while he’s not the biggest fan he will listen. Thank you so much for your response!
 

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Thank you! They are never left unsupervised at any time and we learned very quickly to feed them separately and no toys/chew things together. When they are outside together they play for hours without an issue. I’m hoping this is a good sign! We take them on walks together as well and they do great. When they see each other after a day or so apart you would think their butts would wiggle off they are so excited.
Yup, sounds like typical resource guarding in his house. Good that he isn't that way in the backyard too. I actually don't think its dominance or aggression from everything you said. My gf got a rottie rescue from the shelter and she had the same issues with resource guarding only in the house. Our dogs are completely fine together. They do everything together. We just make sure no feeding together, no treats together and no toys in the house.
 

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I don’t feel like I am abandoning him in an unstable situation as he is around my boyfriend and his dog a few times a week over the course of the couple months I have had him. He stays the night at least 2 times a week with all of us and his home is not an unfamiliar place to my dog. I am going to be away for one night. My dog is crate trained and they are never left alone together. They are also given personal attention as well as play time together. I just felt a little attacked by your response but I do appreciate your candor.
LOL ... one night??? You should have led with that. :)
And yeah ... sigh my bad! I do better with "Dog's," then I do with people ... But you have seen the "Old Me!" I'm a lot "more mellow," these day's! But hey I had lot's of help from ... long time member's "striving," to get me to ... "Dail, it down ... just a bit??? And one of them "suggested," that perhaps ... "I should ask question's before offering advise??"

And sigh ... I try for the most part??? But every now and then I see "something," and go into full on "Bad Dog," in the "Dog Park," mode ... my bad. :(

But on the other hand (and to my credit, it's been years, since I went off! ) But hey when I have "Screwed Up??" I am pretty sure I have the record, for the most online apologies ... ever issued!?? And with that ... "I want to say ... Sorry if I offended, as that was not my intent?? "I," messed up!" But this is a great site ... so "we," got your back! And "Welcome Aboard!" :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
LOL ... one night??? You should have led with that. :)
And yeah ... sigh my bad! I do better with "Dog's," then I do with people ... But you have seen the "Old Me!" I'm a lot "more mellow," these day's! But hey I had lot's of help from ... long time member's "striving," to get me to ... "Dail, it down ... just a bit??? And one of them "suggested," that perhaps ... "I should ask question's before offering advise??"

And sigh ... I try for the most part??? But every now and then I see "something," and go into full on "Bad Dog," in the "Dog Park," mode ... my bad. :(

But on the other hand (and to my credit, it's been years, since I went off! ) But hey when I have "Screwed Up??" I am pretty sure I have the record, for the most online apologies ... ever issued!?? And with that ... "I want to say ... Sorry if I offended, as that was not my intent?? "I," messed up!" But this is a great site ... so "we," got your back! And "Welcome Aboard!" :)
Thank you so much!!!!!! ☺
 
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