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I received this in an email and thought it was too funny not to pass along...

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..................................49
Adventurous........................Slept with everyone
Athletic................................No breasts
Average looking..................Moo
Beautiful..............................Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Free Spirit...........................Junkie
Friendship first....................Former Slut
New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned......................No BJ's
Open-minded........................Desperate
Outgoing.............................Loud and embarrassing
Professional........................Bitch
Feminist...............................Fat????
Voluptuous..........................Very fat
Large frame........................Hugely fat
Wants soul mate.................Stalker


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes.....................................No
No.......................................Yes
Maybe.................................No
We need.............................I want
I am sorry......................... You'll be sorry
We need to talk..................You're in trouble
Fine, go ahead...................You better not
Do what you want..............You will pay for this later
I am not upset.....................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight......Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry..........................I am hungry
I am sleepy...........................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress............................Nice cleavage
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?.................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit......I'm gay.  :lol:  :lol:
 

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LOL!!!!!! that was funny i always love a good laugh!!
 

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:rofl: Oh man!  That is hillarious!:rofl:

You know, if a guy had posted that, we'd be giving him a hard time! :D
 
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